The New Mirror
Donika Borimechkova
"The world is all-seeing, but it is not exhibitionistic - it does not provoke our gaze. When it begins to provoke it, the feeling of strangeness begins too.”[1]
When children are young, adults usually approach them with joy and a desire to care. This is clearly visible in some of their behaviour, in their desire to caress and hug the child, but also in their language. We often hear the child being referred to as a "little angel", "daddy's princess", "mummy's hero". Through the language of others, the child discovers its value; it is a desired and loved object.
As it grows and enters adolescence, the body usually begins to change. It gets bigger, becomes disproportionate, the skin may become problematic, the voice mutates. Combined with changes in the adolescent's behaviour, communication with parents and close adults may become more distant. Many young persons ask themselves questions like: "What is happening to me?", "How do I deal with this new changing body?", "Does the other person like me?"[2] They are now looking for answers to these questions on digital platforms. The desire for more likes leads some adolescents to increasingly provocative behaviour in front of their phone cameras. This seems easy and safe when one is alone in their room. You pick up the phone, take a nude photo, upload it to social media and wait for the reaction of others. You are waiting to be liked, to be approved and accepted. The more provocative, the more liked.
Some teenagers not only show, but also challenge the body and explore its possibilities, for example by filming risky stunts in which their bodies suffer injuries and fractures. This image is then shared on digital media. The body is put on display in front of others. It challenges the limits of the law, challenges the Other to step in and impose a limit. Do these adolescents expect a threatening reaction from the other side of the screen? Maybe they make these posts knowing they are in front of a mirror, seeking acceptance and approval from the other of their new body?
Could they be seeking confirmation of their worth, which they received in childhood through the language and gaze of the Other, and who now seems to have turned away? A search for it in the language and the gaze of little others, of peers? In the young subject's early childhood, in the mirror stage, the Other recognized it by seeing it in the mirror. The Other marked it as a whole and named it.[3]
The new digital mirror does not always respond with acceptance. Sometimes through it, others retaliate with ridicule and bullying. The mirror has become crooked.
References
[1] Lacan, J., The Seminar of Jacques Lacan, Book XI: The Four Fundamental Concepts of Psychoanalysis, ed. J.-A. Miller, trans. A. Sheridan, New York/London: Norton, 1981, p. 75.
[2] Lacadee P., « Les enfants du numérique », 2022, available online: https://pariconversation.wixsite.com/paridelaconversation/post/les-enfants-du-numérique-philippe-lacadée
[3]Lacan, J., “The Mirror Stage as Formative of the I Function,” Écrits, trans. B. Fink, New York/London: Norton, 2006, pp. 75-81.